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Tag Archives | Online dating

7 Myths Why Women Can’t Attract or Keep a Man

Myth 1- When a man disappears or decides to not be in a relationship with you any longer it’s because there’s something you did or didn’t do.  {This myth is all about blame and who’s at fault here.}

Myth 2- Men will magically transform and become a perfect partner if a woman knows the right things to do to keep him satisfied.  {Do you really believe that a man will change because of something you do? This can be true is some situations, but he has to change because he wants to, not because he has too, or because it’s convenient for both of you.}

Myth 3- It’s a women’s job to know how to attract a man, and make a man feel attraction for her.    {Again, this is about one person taking the responsibility, not both.}

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How to become Approachable-Improve Your dating Skills


Click me if you would rather listen

So let me ask you, do you think you’re approachable? Do you even know if you are or not? Do you often wonder why some people seem to get all the attention and you don’t?

Okay so ask yourself this: what kind of people do you think are approachable, who would you approach, and why? My guess is that you would approach someone because you feel comfortable in doing that, or maybe you think they may feel accepting of you in some way.

You may be good looking, witty, and interesting to talk to, but maybe you’re sending out signals of intimidation, or that you’re scared. You may have read that it’s your body language that is causing you to be unapproachable, but it doesn’t come from that. It’s that little thing called “Self-esteem”.

When you have a certain level of self-esteem you may feel comfortable about yourself, and it will show through your body language and how you present yourself with people. So work on self-esteem first not your body language.

I know that I feel comfortable with some people more then others. Sometimes there’s that competitive feeling, you know what I mean when someone gets all the attention or they seem to say all the right things, and they appear to be very confident. Competition may be beneficial in some areas, but in this case it’s a sure sign of low self-esteem.

There are people that have low self esteem and yet they are approachable, but we want to focus on becoming approachable with improved self esteem. The benefits when improving your self-esteem will further improve other areas of you life.

There is another aspect I would like to point out and it goes along with improved self-esteem. As humans we communicate on different levels. We communicate through sound, gesturing, body language and through our thoughts and feelings. We send out thoughts known as signals or electromagnetic waves to other people. We sense when someone doesn’t like us, or that they may feel uncomfortable in our presence. We also know when their lying or hiding something, and hopefully we sense when we are accepted and liked.

So next time you’re in a room full of people remember there’s an exchange of thoughts, you are sending them thoughts and they are sending you thoughts to. Your thoughts and feelings may be saying, “Hi, I’m an easy person to talk to” or maybe you’re sending out, “Watch out I can be a real bitch!” Get the point? Which of the sending out feelings and thoughts do you think is more approachable?

You just have to learn to relax and let go as they say. Try not to focus so much on “What do they think of me?” or “Am I not good looking enough” Practice being yourself; who cares what other people think? Besides, you only want to attract one person, that one special person who will accept you for being you, right?

When people see you as approachable it also opens doors for different opportunities besides dating.  So be open, don’t be competitive, and give a warm smile, all those are natural motivators for people to approach you. Inquisitiveness is also a good trait to have, you may be curious and ask questions about who they are and what they do. People like it when you are interested in them.

Last but not least remember don’t think there is something wrong with you, that’s anti-self-esteem thinking. You just need to work on certain areas of your life; we all do, so you’re not alone. There are different degrees of self-esteem and we have to learn how to raise our level. Self-esteem is a collection of beliefs and feelings we have about ourselves.

Be happy with who you are right now, but always eager for more. See yourself in the mirror and except yourself just the way you are, start from there. Talk about yourself in a kind way, and make it a habit.

Good luck!

Please comment or ask questions regarding this article, I want to hear from you!



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Online Dating-What to Watch For, And How to Improve Your Chances


Nobody really knows what the success rate is for online dating, and who cares anyway. The truth is that you have a better chance of meeting people online, it’s so much easier. But you do have to watch out for the deceitful ones. The ones that tell you they’re single when they’re really married. I had an experience with a woman I met on Match, in her profile she stated that she was divorced, she wasn’t! You can get away with so much, but sooner or later you will get caught! So it’s better to be honest don’t you think?

This article is not a guarantee on “How to attract your soul mate in 3 weeks.” We don’t need more disappointments in our dating career do we? But I could help improve and expedite the dating process by assisting you with some pointers. I am speaking from personal experience with online dating. I don’t claim to be an expert but I have had some very unusual and extraordinary experiences with online dating. I guess I am fortunate in that way because it gave me an opportunity to write about it.

I was married for eighteen years and suddenly tossed into the dating arena. I was unprepared and ignorant about dating. I often wondered if dating has really changed that much since I last dated, or did I just forget what it was like. And why are there so many single people out there and has it always been like this? I guess It’s understandable because the divorce rate has increased tremendously since I last dated, I think it’s over 50% as of this writing.

Online dating allows you to search people based on personal attributes e.g. height, weight, eye color etc. Matches are based on people’s preferences but they can’t predict if you will actually like each other in the real world. One advantage of online dating is you can identify the deal breakers early e.g. smoking, drinking, drugs etc. I have enhanced upon the personal attributes with an online dating template. The online dating template is basically like a plug-in. It is an awesome and ingenious template to save you a great deal of time, I call it the “Online Dating Template” I have posted this template on my profile and received phenomenal reviews from women saying “This is the best profile yet!” That was a direct quote from a smart lady!

I think online dating is one of many ways to meet people. With a little tweaking it can be a good resource and time saver. One negative is that I think the focus is all wrong. That’s great if you like the same activities, but what do you really know about this person. What are their intentions? Who are they really? And what is their background? No doubt that appearance plays a huge part in all of this, but personality and chemistry plays a bigger part. Not so much initially because we see with our eyes first, our feelings second. It would sure save a lot of time if it was the other way around. It is apparent that attractive people might get more dates then someone who is less attractive. But bottom line is; sooner or later you’re going to find out who this person really is on the inside. And hopefully at this point appearance doesn’t take precedence anymore.

Before we get into this template I have been talking about, I want you to know that first you have to become aware of how you feel. You have to listen to your feelings when it tells you something doesn’t feel right. I’ve noticed some people that have been single for a long time and or have come from abusive relationships tend to be too vigilant. For example in some cases there are women that don’t trust men. If this describes you, then trusting your feelings can be a challenge. So I would hope you work on forgiveness first before you even attempt online dating, or any other kind of dating for that matter. Conversely if you are in desperate mode you will ignore those warning signs.

As a side note, I just want to clarify the meaning behind “forgiveness” Forgiveness doesn’t mean you forgive the other person for what they did, forgiveness is done for your sake, not theirs. You have to let the resentment go and move on so you can live your life or it’s guaranteed you will take this resentment or at least a good part of it into your next relationship. I will write more about resentment and forgiveness in future articles.

Okay so finally the template revealed, just keep in mind this template is a tool to use but should not be used solely and should be used conjointly with listening to your feelings. Post this in you profile and let me know what happens, I want to hear from you.


Are you really divorced?
Are your kids excepting of new people in your life?
Are you really in a position to have a relationship?
How much time can you really spend dating?
Do you have a temper?
Were you monogamous in your last relationship?
Do you or have you used abusive language towards your love ones?
Do you have another side to you that you are hiding?
Do you have a criminal record?
Do you do drugs?
Have you ever physically abused your partner?
What type of personality are you?
Are you on medication?
Do you have any health, physical or mental problems?
Were you abused as a child?
Are you or have you ever been abusive in your relationships.
Are you and your Ex on good terms?
What are your intentions and why are you on this site?
What part do friends of opposite sex play once you meet that special person.
Sexual preferences
What was the longest relationship you have had?
How would you rate your baggage from 1 to 10?
How long have you been single?

Add or delete questions according to your specs. Some of these questions might hit some sensitive areas.

And try not to be too detailed or you will scare them away!

I hate to say that people lie about themselves in their profiles. It’s understandable that we want to fulfill a need and impress each other with our achievements and our personality, but it shouldn’t be at someone else’s expense. What a waste of time and energy. I know if this template was posted and used in online dating sites that it would make it difficult to find a date. But then how many of your dates are successful anyway? How many people do you have to weed through to find a decent one? At least this can save you some time and disappointment.

Here’s a tip, if you find someone decent but you’re still not sure how they are, then here’s an idea, observe this person in how they interact with people, friends, and family. Family is the big one, see how they treat and interact with their family members. That should give you an idea on how they might treat you. Also make sure they are available, you should be their main focus (besides their kids), not his wife or girlfriend if you know what I mean. They should be willing to meet your family when the time is right, no excuses and nothing to hide. The latter part of this paragraph is an unfortunate event that occurs too often. Good luck!

Please leave your comments and feedback. I want to hear your stories and experiences with online dating.

Thank you,



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