Are you asking the questions: Why do men act so emotionally desensitized? How come they don’t understand how I feel? Why do most men seem so unattached to their emotional feelings? And why are men so different than women when it comes to emotions?
Nine out of ten women (and men) would like to know the answer to these questions. Are you one of them? We speak the same language, but we express our feelings and emotions differently. The way men and women express themselves has become the result of thousands of years of conditioning.
The problems occur when we think there is something wrong with the otherperson. Blame sets in, and we can’t see the real problem. We are unaware and detached from our ability to see our conditioned nature, and so we act out unconsciously. We become confused, because we don’t understand why he or she acts the way they do.
Instinct and Conditioning
Animals will eat their prey out of instinct and survival. They don’t question what they do, they just do it. The difference between animals and human beings are: we have the ability to reason and question what we’re doing. However, we don’t always know ‘what we are doing.’ We have to find out through observing ourselves and others. We can also learn from people that know and have done research on human behavior. We can also do our own research.
Human beings are also conditioned through their environment, teachers, parents, mentors, and friends. Fortunately, we have a mind and brain that is always evolving into something better. We ‘can’ reason and understand between what feels right and what doesn’t. We don’t always listen to those feelings, but with correct knowledge and informative articles like this, we can improve.
Animals will never reason and understand that they are born killers by instinct. Therefore, I won’t blame a lion for killing a deer. Are you blaming someone for acting according to instinct or conditioning? I’m not saying it’s right or wrong, I’m saying do you understand why they’re doing it? Once you understand why a person is acting the way they do, you won’t have to question their behavior any longer. Trust me on this. I know from personal experience this is true. It is rare when I ask myself, ‘Why are they acting that way?’ I know the answer from understanding myself. That’s why I always mention to you, ‘start with you first’- it’s all about you.
Understanding and Blame
When you understand this concept, then there’s no more blame (or very little). Without blame, your mind is clear, and you’re able to compromise (not compromise yourself). At the very least, you will minimize unnecessary confrontation.
Reacting, Feeling, and Understanding
Men and women will feel and react differently in the same situation. We can’t possibly expect for the other person to react the same as us, right? That’s what makes us different and unique. We each feel a different degree or level of these emotions in a unique and specific way. We then express these feelings according to our patterns and programming.
It’s not just about men versus women in the way we react. This is about how we have evolved over the years. We are on the leading edge of understanding our nature and how to control it through awareness, understanding, and believing.
Changes in Human Behavior
There have been some noticeable pattern changes in human beings recently. It seems like the new generation of males are expressing more of their feminine self. While middle-aged women on the other hand are expressing more of their masculine self. It’s a phenomenon that is changing the dynamics between how men and women react towards each other. It has become somewhat of a challenge, especially with single middle-aged people. I won’t get into the specifics is this article. In the near future, I will write a more detailed article regarding these changes.
We can acclimate to subtle shifts, however, some pronounced shifts are challenging, because we need time to understand them. We are all tied into the morphogenetic field of thought; however, we can be individual and self-thinkers.
Living by Default
I don’t want to get too far off of the subject. I think living by default is too much of an important subject to not cover in this article. Living by default are people that are unaware of how to create their life on purpose. In other words, we have more control over what happens to us through our understanding of universal laws than we think. When you live by default, then you are subject to whatever happens to you. The more awareness you have, the more control you have over what happens to you. How much control can we have? That I can’t tell you, but I do know that your life can become easier by shifting your thinking and focus to a new understanding. This way you become better. Like Jim Rohn said, “Don’t wish things were easier, wish you were better.
Your new understanding would be: I now know why my husband, or wife, acts the way they do. You can now allow them to be themselves. This doesn’t mean you have to agree with what they do, or like it, for that matter. When you understand it, the pressure of blame and resentment is mostly gone. You become better. See how this works? When you become stronger or better with your new understanding, one of two things will happen. They will change their attitude and become wiser and better because of you, or they will leave because your energies are not a match anymore.
Your inner strength will always prevail. That’s why we have different groups of people. We congregate to ‘like’ energy. Rich people hang out with rich people; computer geeks will hang out with computer geeks; and husbands and wives are together because of a bond or commonality of energy. Whether it’s a healthy bond or unhealthy bond, it’s still a bond.
Bonding means a gravitational pull you have with another person. If you hate them, then you think about them. That creates a magnetic pulling force-not repelling. When you love someone, you think about them, again there is a magnetic pull.
I hope this wasn’t too confusing for you. If you like, you can email me for some more info on this subject. It can be a little challenging to understand, but once you get it, your life will change for the better, I promise you that.
You’re not expected to understand this overnight. Basically, and in a nutshell, the differences between men and women aren’t so much on how or what they think. It’s in how they express themselves emotionally. Most men express their feelings and emotions differently than women do. Is it such a crime to be different? No, but it’s a waste of time and energy to not understand we are ‘all’ different, but not separate.
People mistake theses differences as a problem between men and women. On a subconscious level, this causes separation. Separation is the opposite of love.
I’ve witness wives nag and annoy their husbands during a football game to get their attention. I have also witnessed husbands criticizing their wives about their driving habits. Their reasoning was always: men and women think differently, and there’s nothing that can be done about it. I believe for every problem, there’s a solution. We just have to find it. The solution lies in finding the solution. Don’t just accept what someone else says is true (it’s true for them). Here’s a good quote: “Be accepting of people, but don’t always accept what they say” –TR.
Wouldn’t you want to live a better life? Then start with becoming a better person, and understand the duality of life. Everything has its opposite, for example:
Murphy’s Law – what can go wrong will go wrong
Rivera’s Law – what can go right will go right
You can be accepting of both of these laws, just try to focus more on Rivera’s Law.
Once I learned the Art of Accepting, my life changed for the better. I was going through a separation and a divorce during August, 2008. At the time, I was practicing Martial Arts. A year later, my instructor told me every person in his class that had gone through a divorce had quit. He said they were an emotional mess and could no longer continue classes. He mentioned to me that not once did he detect any change in my demeanor or mood during my divorce.
I must admit, it was difficult at times. My new understanding of why my wife was acting the way she was helped me get through the difficult times. I didn’t have to hate her or blame her anymore. Of course, there was some of that, but it was to such a small degree, it was hardly noticeable.