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How to become Approachable-Improve Your dating Skills


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So let me ask you, do you think you’re approachable? Do you even know if you are or not? Do you often wonder why some people seem to get all the attention and you don’t?

Okay so ask yourself this: what kind of people do you think are approachable, who would you approach, and why? My guess is that you would approach someone because you feel comfortable in doing that, or maybe you think they may feel accepting of you in some way.

You may be good looking, witty, and interesting to talk to, but maybe you’re sending out signals of intimidation, or that you’re scared. You may have read that it’s your body language that is causing you to be unapproachable, but it doesn’t come from that. It’s that little thing called “Self-esteem”.

When you have a certain level of self-esteem you may feel comfortable about yourself, and it will show through your body language and how you present yourself with people. So work on self-esteem first not your body language.

I know that I feel comfortable with some people more then others. Sometimes there’s that competitive feeling, you know what I mean when someone gets all the attention or they seem to say all the right things, and they appear to be very confident. Competition may be beneficial in some areas, but in this case it’s a sure sign of low self-esteem.

There are people that have low self esteem and yet they are approachable, but we want to focus on becoming approachable with improved self esteem. The benefits when improving your self-esteem will further improve other areas of you life.

There is another aspect I would like to point out and it goes along with improved self-esteem. As humans we communicate on different levels. We communicate through sound, gesturing, body language and through our thoughts and feelings. We send out thoughts known as signals or electromagnetic waves to other people. We sense when someone doesn’t like us, or that they may feel uncomfortable in our presence. We also know when their lying or hiding something, and hopefully we sense when we are accepted and liked.

So next time you’re in a room full of people remember there’s an exchange of thoughts, you are sending them thoughts and they are sending you thoughts to. Your thoughts and feelings may be saying, “Hi, I’m an easy person to talk to” or maybe you’re sending out, “Watch out I can be a real bitch!” Get the point? Which of the sending out feelings and thoughts do you think is more approachable?

You just have to learn to relax and let go as they say. Try not to focus so much on “What do they think of me?” or “Am I not good looking enough” Practice being yourself; who cares what other people think? Besides, you only want to attract one person, that one special person who will accept you for being you, right?

When people see you as approachable it also opens doors for different opportunities besides dating.  So be open, don’t be competitive, and give a warm smile, all those are natural motivators for people to approach you. Inquisitiveness is also a good trait to have, you may be curious and ask questions about who they are and what they do. People like it when you are interested in them.

Last but not least remember don’t think there is something wrong with you, that’s anti-self-esteem thinking. You just need to work on certain areas of your life; we all do, so you’re not alone. There are different degrees of self-esteem and we have to learn how to raise our level. Self-esteem is a collection of beliefs and feelings we have about ourselves.

Be happy with who you are right now, but always eager for more. See yourself in the mirror and except yourself just the way you are, start from there. Talk about yourself in a kind way, and make it a habit.

Good luck!

Please comment or ask questions regarding this article, I want to hear from you!



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2 Responses to How to become Approachable-Improve Your dating Skills

  1. Sharman Botista May 12, 2012 at 2:50 am #

    Thanks Tony for your wonderful insight. I subscribed and look forward to more of your enlightened work.


  2. Claudenice May 17, 2012 at 11:23 am #

    I agree with most of this, but not all of it. I have my opinions, however you bring up some good points of interest.

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