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7 Myths Why Women Can’t Attract or Keep a Man

Myth 4- When a couple has been in a successful relationship for many years, that warrants them to give advice about “how to have a successful relationship.”   {We are all individuals and as couples we become individual couples. What works for one person doesn’t necessarily work for another person, and what works for one couple doesn’t necessarily work for another couple.}

Myth 5- A women should know when not to activate male triggers and fear within a man.

{Were not living in the fifties anymore and you don’t have to walk on eggshells.}

Myth 6- Women who have the same problem with different men is because men are withdrawn and unable to express themselves emotionally because of how you’re acting.

{Not all men are withdrawn and unable to express themselves emotionally. What kind of men are you attracting? If you are attracting men that aren’t willing to be there for you, then you need to work on yourself. When you become a person that feels worthy and deserving of yourself, then you will attract men that are of similar content.}

Myth 7- Dating and relationship programs or E-books that teach you how to become irresistible to a man so you can create an amazing life together.

{It took you years to get to where you’re at emotionally, and it’s going to take some work to start thinking differently. Bad habits are hard to break; conversely good habits are hard to break too. Develop those good habits and your life will change for the better. As you become more aware of what you are doing and improve upon how you feel about yourself, then you will attract men of better quality and values. There are some nice guys out there; it’s just that you don’t see them. All you see is this big mess! So all you’re going to see is messy guys.}

I have compiled this information about myths from several relationship and dating sites. I call them myths because that’s just what they are. The bracketed colored text is my interpretation and it is open for discussion if you would like to comment.

Some of these dating sites charge a pretty penny for programs that claim to “have found the secret to a long lasting relationship” knowing that you will pay their price, and why wouldn’t you? You are frustrated and have exhausted all your resources. You reached the end of the line, you are desperate! How many times have you gone back to online dating because you thought maybe this time you might find someone? You thought maybe things have changed and men are different this time.

 

And according to these myths you need to change what you are doing wrong or how you’re acting so he will stay with you. The only thing you need to change is how you feel about yourself and then the situation will change accordingly.

I’m not saying these dating advisors are deceitful. I’m sure there are some out there, but the ones who are legit just don’t understand the psychology behind this. This is old psychology and it doesn’t work anymore, it just causes more frustration and confusion. You rely on their research and experience and when it doesn’t work you feel lost and defeated. You hear stories and testimonials from people on their site on how happy they are that they found their true love, but what you don’t hear sometimes is their relationships are short-lived.

I’m sure there are some success stories, but the idea behind giving advice is reaching as many people as possible with the correct knowledge. The reason why most of this information doesn’t work is because the focuses is on what you need to do or change to please the other person. That antiquated way of thinking didn’t work then and it doesn’t work now.

If you heed these myths and absorb it as valid, then you will forever be stuck in a loop of frustration. You will always think “He’s not happy, what am I doing wrong?” If you try to please someone so they can be happy then you will be jumping through hoops for the rest of your relationship. What’s going to happen the day you can’t please him? Are you going to feel guilty, shameful, and blameful of yourself? How many relationships have you seen where the women is always trying to please the man, or the man is always trying to please the women. Hopefully I can help you understand you don’t need to buy into this “old” psychology. Work on your self-esteem and bring it up a notch.

I watched a movie the other day with my two teen daughters. It was about this women living in the fifties. She was a widow with five kids. She was on a date one night when her date wanted her to go somewhere she didn’t want to go. They argued and he punched her in the face. They didn’t actually show her getting hit (thank God!) but when she went home her son was horrified that his mother was abused. My daughters were confused and asked why this man wasn’t punished for this awful crime. I told them that men were allowed to some extent abuse women back then and get away with it. Why? Because they believed back then it was the women’s fault for intimidating and or encouraging a man to act out.

Tyra Banks did a show about teen violence and abuse. A young couple was on stage talking about their abusive situation. When Tyra asked the boy why he hit his girlfriend, he responded with: “I didn’t mean it, but she made me mad” like it was her fault. I think it was both their faults! His fault for continuing the legacy of abusiveness handed down from his family and her fault for staying with him. She said she couldn’t leave him because she loved him. Where’s the love in that?

There are many reasons for a man to leave you e.g. he’s feeling unsure about himself, he’s insecure, he’s afraid of commitment, and the list goes on, or maybe you two are just not meant to be together. The point is both of you attracted each other because of the way you both feel about yourselves. When you stop blaming, and you start feeling good about who you are, then you will attract a person in your life with similar energy and feelings.  Like attracts like when it comes to energy and feelings.

These seven myths are physiological punches in the face. Again, the blame continues but in a different form. These people who sell these programs are still in that old pattern of blaming, and the worse part about it is they don’t realize it. But even worse yet, people still continue to buy these programs thinking it’s a cure.

I am not blaming anyone here because it’s not intentional for the most part. It’s just being unaware to what’s really happening here. It has become a habit and a bad one at that. To reiterate; Bad habits are hard to break; conversely good habits are hard to break too.  So endeavor to get over that threshold from bad habits to good habits by working on your self-esteem.

Good luck! :-D

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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2 Responses to 7 Myths Why Women Can’t Attract or Keep a Man

  1. de Carabas October 16, 2012 at 7:49 pm #

    Hi,

    Excellent stuff here, just what I needed to hear!

    “Its not my job to keep a man.” so simple yet so true. If on the recieving end of a break up (even if I wasn’t that happy with things anyway and contemplating a break myself) I admit I do question what I did wrong or what’s wrong with me.

    My current relationship is in unrequited love and I’m working on myself about that. I was thinking about the relationship and still very much in love. I was unhappy with how little we went out and some other small things, not big enough for a break up as we had a wonderful, happy relationship.
    Right when I was having my doubts, he broke up with me, and seemed to struggle with it as much or more than I did. He was also aware he wasn’t making me 100% happy, so in some ways I think he was “getting in first” as afraid to be the one rejected.
    But he never really left, and we stayed in this weird half-relationship, where we had all the elements of a relationship bar holding hands and saying “I love you” but it was expressed otherwise. I know I’m sending out a certain energy as I make it hard for people to love me and I do regret thinking those fussy thoughts as now all I want is for things to be as they were.

    • Tony Rivera October 16, 2012 at 9:30 pm #

      Thanks for commenting. I don’t really believe we do anything wrong in that sense. We all make mistakes, however, when we learn from them, they are not mistakes, they are lessons. Please keep reading my articles and commenting, I believe things will change. When we learn from our mistakes, we can only get better.

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