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Is Your Relationship Abusive? It Could be, Let’s Find Out

How many of you really know what an abusive relationship is? I was astounded to find out how many people are in abusive relationships, and they don’t even realize it. In this article I will describe an abusive relationship. You may be surprised to find out you could possibly be in one, and be unaware of it.

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Top 10 Body Parts Women like About Men

These articles are always fun to write about. Why? Because they just are. I thank all the women who contributed and were willing to offer this information to me.  Surprisingly, women and men have a similar interest. It’s not what you would think, but when it comes down to the bare bones of attraction, we think alike!

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How to Attract a Perfect Mate-Loneliness be Gone

I will describe a very unconventional but effective way for you to attract the person you always wanted. Someone whom you have always dreamed about, but thought it was impossible, and now you’ll find out it is possible. This technique can also be used to attract other things in your life, including money.

Did you know your thinking is the reason you can’t find a mate. Yes, the thought process is the key to everything you’re attracting, including money. I will show you how to improve your thinking so you can attract what you want. You are already attracting what you put your attention to, so make it something you want instead of what you don’t want.

What you put your attention to is the key element here. If your attention is on: why can’t I find a mate? Then you have already roll played it your mind that it is difficult to find one. Let’s change that, let’s reprogram what you put your attention too and your life will chance drastically.

Out there somewhere is a partner who is a perfect match for you, and that’s what you want, right? Are your dreams aligned with your thoughts and actions? We will find out.

My vision to find the perfect mate is that we get along well. We bring the best out of each other, and we have a great time together We allow each other to be who we are without judgment, and we grow and expand together to new levels of being and understanding. We’re both self-sufficient, but together we are one. It’s exciting thinking about it, and I can feel myself being in that place.

If this wonderful person hasn’t manifested yet, it’s because you’re not ready. What does “not being ready mean?” It means you’re not aligned with you thoughts yet. You are still in: maybe that person is the one, or maybe that one, or maybe that one. Or let’s play that game, I like you, but I will pretend not too.

When you’re ready, you won’t have to play any games, you will know, and they will know when it’s right. You will both feel it without question. Sure, there might be some question, but that is your logical mind talking. Your feelings know better. So let’s see how you can attract that person you want, and how they want you.

You will attract into your life what your dominate feeling is. You’re supposed to get what you want, and what you want and what you believe is possible, should be in alignment with each other. Wanting something and believing it’s hard to get or impossible to get is sabotaging what you want. It’s neutralizing what could be delivered to you and you to it.

How you feel and think is the only thing that you have control of. With that knowledge, you can have the person of your dreams. That person is waiting for you just as much as you are waiting for them. Let’s get into alignment so you can be with that person you want.

When you plan for a vacation you get organized in your thoughts. You get pictures of the place’s you’re going to. You make reservations. You make a list of all the things you are bringing. You board your dog, etc. You’re not going someplace that you think is impossible to get to, right? So you’re thinking and the place that you’re going to is in alignment.

What about attracting a person that you have never met before, is the process the same? Yes it is! The approach is different, the alignment is the same. In your mind fast forward to after the date has ended and feel the satisfaction of how well it went. See yourself laughing, have an endless conversation where you feel really connected with this person. You are having a really fun time. You see yourself after the date, and you are smiling, awaiting the next date. You have to focus your attention there; this is where you want to be, it’s called deliberate creation.

Make up your own idea and vision of what you want, this is only an example. The point is, you want to feel that feeling so it is so real that it will manifest before you. You will draw it in because you feel it, and you believe it.

Before long and with practice you won’t leave your house until you have decided in your mind how you want your day to go. Don’t pay too much attention to the details; those will work themselves out for you. Only think and feel of the important aspects of what you want.

I encourage you to read my other articles. This is a process that will never end. You will improve in all areas of your life, and life will deliver to you the things and people you want according to how you feel and think about yourself.

Thanks for reading, comments are always welcome.


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Falling in Love-What Love is, And How to Fall in Love

Being in love is so good for you. Often when people are newly in love, things that have been bothering them for a long time seem to get better, or go away. Something wonderful is calling the majority of their attention now, so they’re holding themselves in a better place. They believe in possibilities they use to think were impossible. Their whole world seems to change. Colors seem brighter, and the problems of the world don’t seem so terrible anymore.

This almost sounds like Eden! And actually it is Eden in a sort of way. You experience that wonderful feeling in your mind, and your body is a reflection of that thinking. You seem to forget about your aches and pains, or maybe most of it was in your mind anyway? Maybe because your focus is somewhere else now! Ah! Almost like a miracle isn’t it? Those are the benefits of falling in love.

The health benefits are astounding! Your body actually transforms itself according to how you feel. Maybe love is the cure for all diseases? It’s too bad we couldn’t feel this good all the time. It makes you wonder if most diseases are the result of an absence of love.

I want to tell you a story about my friend Eve. She went through a life changing transformation when she found her true love. I remember when Eve had just gotten out of a very dysfunctional relationship. She was slumped over, shoulders forward, and she looked aged. She was an attractive soft spoken lady in her early fifties. At the time, I wasn’t attracted to her because I thought she didn’t fit the physical profile I was looking for…..so I thought!

Eve was a good conversationalist; we had some very inspiring talks. She seemed like such a nice person, and I felt empathy for her. I was sad that she attracted jerks into her life, and that she was treaded with disrespect. She admitted she had low self-esteem and felt lonely.

A few months past and there was no sign of Eve. It seemed as though she just disappeared, and I missed our talks. The next time I saw Eve, I didn’t recognize her because she had changed so much. When we spoke again I asked her what she had been up to. She went on to tell me her story about how she met this guy, and how wonderful their relationship was going. She said she got to a point where she had given up dating and decided she was going to be single for the rest of her life. At that point when she stopped trying, within one week, she found who she was looking for. She just gave up, or you can say she let go.

Eve looked fantastic! Everything about her was different, and she looked ten years younger. She actually bounced when she walked, her whole face lit up with a glow. It was as if Eve was a totally different person inside and out. At that moment, I felt an attraction to her. I then realized that it wasn’t the physical part of her I wasn’t attracted to at first; it was more on an energy level. I just wanted to hug her and not let go, because on another level I felt good being close to her.

That’s what it’s all about, feeling good when you’re in the company of someone else. It doesn’t really matter who they are or what they look like, as long as you feel good together is what counts. We don’t need to analyze or understand love. We need to feel it! We feel incomplete without it, so we know love is necessary for our survival.

Couples that have recently fallen in love tend to ignore certain personality traits or flaws that would normally be considered annoying. They only see the best part of that person. Wouldn’t it be nice if that feeling or absence of judgment was everlasting?

What do we want most when we fall in love? We want to feel good, accepted, admired, and complimented; it’s all about us isn’t it? That person we are falling in love with is doing all the right things to fulfill our wants and needs, but they can’t keep it up forever! And when they can’t any longer, the blame, judgment and resentment begin.

When we expect another person to make us happy and fill our needs, then we are in for a very disappointing relationship. When a relationship starts to crumble, let’s face it, it’s because you’re not getting your needs met… right?  And it’s not the responsibility of the other person to keep you happy. Your needs are just what they are, they’re your needs! You own them.

Hypothetically, if there was such a person that was passionate about life, satisfied and happy about their job and what they do, and accepting and secure within themselves, would they be more accepting of their partner? What do you think?

Another person can give you cause for happiness, but if you are depending on them for your happiness then you are subject to their control. Not intentionally at first, but it becomes too much of a strain and responsibility for them to maintain your happiness, and theirs. Eventually, a separation is inevitable to allow both sides a break, to clear their minds, and maybe, hopefully, a reconciliation.

Try to improve in one area of your life where you feel good about yourself and see how your relationships change. Work on self-esteem and accepting yourself, even if you’re not accepted by others. You got it right, keep that focus on yourself, but this time do it with self-confidence and self-reliance. When you have reached the point of believing in yourself and loving yourself, then you have found real love, and that’s worth giving to your partner.

You’re not expected to be perfect, and I know some relationships aren’t meant to be, for whatever  reason. Sometimes we grow in different directions and sometimes one person glows more than the other. Abusive relationships are unhealthy for everyone involved, and it’s wise to not be a part of it. Do the best you can and know there is always a solution.

Good luck!

Thanks for reading!


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Top 8 Body Parts Men Like About Women

Okay girls grab onto your thongs you may be surprised what I’ve found out! Every woman is dying to know what female body parts turn a man on. I interviewed several men and did some extensive research on this topic. I had to censor some parts out because some guys can be very graphic, if you know what I mean!

I know what you’re thinking, (and before you rush off to the gym) it’s not that! Guys don’t really care about the shape of a woman’s body. They are more interested in your mind, and if you believe what I just said then your thong is way too tight and it’s preventing the blood from going to your brain!

It’s hard to get a straight answer out of a guy regarding women’s body parts. They seem to divert from one body part to another in a millisecond without notice. I had to keep their attention focused in one area; it was not an easy thing to do!

The following list is made up of the most popular responses first, working our way down to the least popular. Take note and know what body parts men are most attracted to.

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Conflicting Thoughts-A Helpful Solution

One of our biggest challenges in life is having conflicting thoughts. You may have many conflicting thoughts several times a day and not even be aware of it. Conflicting thoughts can be very detrimental to your relationships, and impede your happiness. Control your thoughts and you will control what happens to you, literally! I am writing this article for reference and informational purposes.  I mention conflicting thoughts in my articles periodically. You will be able to reference back to this article to understand what I’m talking about. This is important for you to comprehend, because when understood and applied, it can change your life.

Thoughts into feelings

You have a thought first which starts the creating process. Your feelings are an interpretation of thoughts. Feelings are signals from your thoughts; they reflect back to you if there is fulfillment (alignment) or conflict (misalignment). When you learn to listen (interpret) what your feelings are saying, you can start manifesting things and people that are benefiting your growth. I will write a separate article on what I call “First Feelings’ so you will understand how to listen to your feelings, and know what they are saying. For now I will focus on thoughts primarily so you’re not overwhelmed.

Understanding How Thoughts Work

Thoughts are magnetic; you attract people and things in your life according to what you’re transmitting (thinking). Every thought you have, has  power behind it. If you have conflicting thoughts; they cancel each other out. That’s why it takes so long for you to get what you want. It would be like running around in circles. Thoughts need direction without an interception (conflicting thoughts).

Thought waves are similar to radio waves, but at a higher frequency and more sophisticated. You can’t see them, but they are everywhere. If we think a certain thought we send it out at a certain frequency. For example: a specific thought you’re sending out might be at 1000 megahertz (megahertz is a unit of measurement). Like attracts like, anything or anyone with a similar vibration, would be attracted to you. In other words, a radio tuned to 97.3 will pick up on the frequency 97.3 megahertz. All the radio station frequencies are all around you, but you only tune into that specific one, which is 97.3. Same with thoughts, what thought or frequency are you tuned into now? It depends on what you are open to, you are the radio-receiving thoughts, and you are the radio station-sending out thoughts. You send out and you receive. Positive thoughts may be thought of as higher frequencies, and negative thoughts are lower frequencies.

*This is a very basic description of thought waves. It gets more involved and much more complicated. You don’t need to know how you attract things and people into your life, unless you want to. All you need to know for now is how to stop the conflict. The details will take care of themselves.

What are conflicting thoughts?

Conflicting thoughts are two thoughts that are out of alignment, or out of sync. If you have a thought: I want to be rich, and in the same breath (so to speak) you think, how’s that possible? That would be considered a conflicting thought. Let’s say your thought “I want to be rich” is vibrating at 2000 megahertz, and your thought of “How’s that possible” is vibrating at 1000 Megahertz.  They both have to be at, or close to the same frequency in order to manifest what you want. In this situation, they are canceling each other out, and so nothing happens. Got it? Another example is: “I want to be rich,” and “I think it’s possible” are closer in frequencies. The chances are greater and manifesting what you want is quicker when the frequencies are closer together. There is a caveat, you can’t fake it; you have to feel it. Words don’t carry any weight, however, feelings do.

Understanding Conflicting Thoughts

Now you know how dangerous you can be to yourself and others. We now know we can’t fake it. Thinking positive is not enough. We have to feel positive.

We either live by default, or we live consciously. Living by default means; we are unconscious of our thoughts, and therefore we create haphazardly. We follow along with someone else’s ideas, thoughts, or advice, without question. It’s almost like going downstream without a paddle. Wherever the current takes you, that’s where you will go.

Living consciously means; we are aware of our thoughts, and we create our lives on purpose. Living by default, or living consciously is never 100%. Living by default you still have some control, while living consciously you have more control.

Not making a decision, going back and forth is a conflicting thought. Imagine a tug of war where both sides are of equal strength. Nobody wins. It’s a stalemate.

The Solution

Rather than trying to monitor your thoughts, I encourage that you simply pay attention to how you are feeling. For if you should choose thoughts that are not in harmony with each other, you will feel the discord; and then you can easily redirect your thought to something that feels better and, therefore, serves you better.

How you feel is the answer; how you feel about yourself (self-esteem) how you feel when something doesn’t feel right, and how you feel when something does feel right. How you feel about yourself will determine how you act and what things, situations and people you attract in your life.

If it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it, if it feels right, do more of it, simple, but not easy to do. Practice listening to your feelings whenever something doesn’t feel right. Act quickly before the logical mind talks you out of it.



* For detailed information: http://www.psitek.net/pages/PsiTekPMI2.html



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7 Myths Why Women Can’t Attract or Keep a Man

Myth 1- When a man disappears or decides to not be in a relationship with you any longer it’s because there’s something you did or didn’t do.  {This myth is all about blame and who’s at fault here.}

Myth 2- Men will magically transform and become a perfect partner if a woman knows the right things to do to keep him satisfied.  {Do you really believe that a man will change because of something you do? This can be true is some situations, but he has to change because he wants to, not because he has too, or because it’s convenient for both of you.}

Myth 3- It’s a women’s job to know how to attract a man, and make a man feel attraction for her.    {Again, this is about one person taking the responsibility, not both.}

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How to become Approachable-Improve Your dating Skills


Click me if you would rather listen

So let me ask you, do you think you’re approachable? Do you even know if you are or not? Do you often wonder why some people seem to get all the attention and you don’t?

Okay so ask yourself this: what kind of people do you think are approachable, who would you approach, and why? My guess is that you would approach someone because you feel comfortable in doing that, or maybe you think they may feel accepting of you in some way.

You may be good looking, witty, and interesting to talk to, but maybe you’re sending out signals of intimidation, or that you’re scared. You may have read that it’s your body language that is causing you to be unapproachable, but it doesn’t come from that. It’s that little thing called “Self-esteem”.

When you have a certain level of self-esteem you may feel comfortable about yourself, and it will show through your body language and how you present yourself with people. So work on self-esteem first not your body language.

I know that I feel comfortable with some people more then others. Sometimes there’s that competitive feeling, you know what I mean when someone gets all the attention or they seem to say all the right things, and they appear to be very confident. Competition may be beneficial in some areas, but in this case it’s a sure sign of low self-esteem.

There are people that have low self esteem and yet they are approachable, but we want to focus on becoming approachable with improved self esteem. The benefits when improving your self-esteem will further improve other areas of you life.

There is another aspect I would like to point out and it goes along with improved self-esteem. As humans we communicate on different levels. We communicate through sound, gesturing, body language and through our thoughts and feelings. We send out thoughts known as signals or electromagnetic waves to other people. We sense when someone doesn’t like us, or that they may feel uncomfortable in our presence. We also know when their lying or hiding something, and hopefully we sense when we are accepted and liked.

So next time you’re in a room full of people remember there’s an exchange of thoughts, you are sending them thoughts and they are sending you thoughts to. Your thoughts and feelings may be saying, “Hi, I’m an easy person to talk to” or maybe you’re sending out, “Watch out I can be a real bitch!” Get the point? Which of the sending out feelings and thoughts do you think is more approachable?

You just have to learn to relax and let go as they say. Try not to focus so much on “What do they think of me?” or “Am I not good looking enough” Practice being yourself; who cares what other people think? Besides, you only want to attract one person, that one special person who will accept you for being you, right?

When people see you as approachable it also opens doors for different opportunities besides dating.  So be open, don’t be competitive, and give a warm smile, all those are natural motivators for people to approach you. Inquisitiveness is also a good trait to have, you may be curious and ask questions about who they are and what they do. People like it when you are interested in them.

Last but not least remember don’t think there is something wrong with you, that’s anti-self-esteem thinking. You just need to work on certain areas of your life; we all do, so you’re not alone. There are different degrees of self-esteem and we have to learn how to raise our level. Self-esteem is a collection of beliefs and feelings we have about ourselves.

Be happy with who you are right now, but always eager for more. See yourself in the mirror and except yourself just the way you are, start from there. Talk about yourself in a kind way, and make it a habit.

Good luck!

Please comment or ask questions regarding this article, I want to hear from you!



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Online Dating-What to Watch For, And How to Improve Your Chances


Nobody really knows what the success rate is for online dating, and who cares anyway. The truth is that you have a better chance of meeting people online, it’s so much easier. But you do have to watch out for the deceitful ones. The ones that tell you they’re single when they’re really married. I had an experience with a woman I met on Match, in her profile she stated that she was divorced, she wasn’t! You can get away with so much, but sooner or later you will get caught! So it’s better to be honest don’t you think?

This article is not a guarantee on “How to attract your soul mate in 3 weeks.” We don’t need more disappointments in our dating career do we? But I could help improve and expedite the dating process by assisting you with some pointers. I am speaking from personal experience with online dating. I don’t claim to be an expert but I have had some very unusual and extraordinary experiences with online dating. I guess I am fortunate in that way because it gave me an opportunity to write about it.

I was married for eighteen years and suddenly tossed into the dating arena. I was unprepared and ignorant about dating. I often wondered if dating has really changed that much since I last dated, or did I just forget what it was like. And why are there so many single people out there and has it always been like this? I guess It’s understandable because the divorce rate has increased tremendously since I last dated, I think it’s over 50% as of this writing.

Online dating allows you to search people based on personal attributes e.g. height, weight, eye color etc. Matches are based on people’s preferences but they can’t predict if you will actually like each other in the real world. One advantage of online dating is you can identify the deal breakers early e.g. smoking, drinking, drugs etc. I have enhanced upon the personal attributes with an online dating template. The online dating template is basically like a plug-in. It is an awesome and ingenious template to save you a great deal of time, I call it the “Online Dating Template” I have posted this template on my profile and received phenomenal reviews from women saying “This is the best profile yet!” That was a direct quote from a smart lady!

I think online dating is one of many ways to meet people. With a little tweaking it can be a good resource and time saver. One negative is that I think the focus is all wrong. That’s great if you like the same activities, but what do you really know about this person. What are their intentions? Who are they really? And what is their background? No doubt that appearance plays a huge part in all of this, but personality and chemistry plays a bigger part. Not so much initially because we see with our eyes first, our feelings second. It would sure save a lot of time if it was the other way around. It is apparent that attractive people might get more dates then someone who is less attractive. But bottom line is; sooner or later you’re going to find out who this person really is on the inside. And hopefully at this point appearance doesn’t take precedence anymore.

Before we get into this template I have been talking about, I want you to know that first you have to become aware of how you feel. You have to listen to your feelings when it tells you something doesn’t feel right. I’ve noticed some people that have been single for a long time and or have come from abusive relationships tend to be too vigilant. For example in some cases there are women that don’t trust men. If this describes you, then trusting your feelings can be a challenge. So I would hope you work on forgiveness first before you even attempt online dating, or any other kind of dating for that matter. Conversely if you are in desperate mode you will ignore those warning signs.

As a side note, I just want to clarify the meaning behind “forgiveness” Forgiveness doesn’t mean you forgive the other person for what they did, forgiveness is done for your sake, not theirs. You have to let the resentment go and move on so you can live your life or it’s guaranteed you will take this resentment or at least a good part of it into your next relationship. I will write more about resentment and forgiveness in future articles.

Okay so finally the template revealed, just keep in mind this template is a tool to use but should not be used solely and should be used conjointly with listening to your feelings. Post this in you profile and let me know what happens, I want to hear from you.


Are you really divorced?
Are your kids excepting of new people in your life?
Are you really in a position to have a relationship?
How much time can you really spend dating?
Do you have a temper?
Were you monogamous in your last relationship?
Do you or have you used abusive language towards your love ones?
Do you have another side to you that you are hiding?
Do you have a criminal record?
Do you do drugs?
Have you ever physically abused your partner?
What type of personality are you?
Are you on medication?
Do you have any health, physical or mental problems?
Were you abused as a child?
Are you or have you ever been abusive in your relationships.
Are you and your Ex on good terms?
What are your intentions and why are you on this site?
What part do friends of opposite sex play once you meet that special person.
Sexual preferences
What was the longest relationship you have had?
How would you rate your baggage from 1 to 10?
How long have you been single?

Add or delete questions according to your specs. Some of these questions might hit some sensitive areas.

And try not to be too detailed or you will scare them away!

I hate to say that people lie about themselves in their profiles. It’s understandable that we want to fulfill a need and impress each other with our achievements and our personality, but it shouldn’t be at someone else’s expense. What a waste of time and energy. I know if this template was posted and used in online dating sites that it would make it difficult to find a date. But then how many of your dates are successful anyway? How many people do you have to weed through to find a decent one? At least this can save you some time and disappointment.

Here’s a tip, if you find someone decent but you’re still not sure how they are, then here’s an idea, observe this person in how they interact with people, friends, and family. Family is the big one, see how they treat and interact with their family members. That should give you an idea on how they might treat you. Also make sure they are available, you should be their main focus (besides their kids), not his wife or girlfriend if you know what I mean. They should be willing to meet your family when the time is right, no excuses and nothing to hide. The latter part of this paragraph is an unfortunate event that occurs too often. Good luck!

Please leave your comments and feedback. I want to hear your stories and experiences with online dating.

Thank you,



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